Harley Davidson Dyna: the mechanic's choice.

USA - motorcycle - 103.1 cu in
Having recently unearthed some invaluable insights from a variety of expert sources, I feel compelled to confess a mistake of judgement on my part. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say I spoke from ignorance. Though I have 30 years in the saddle of a number of moto monikers, and countless hours in tinkering with my bikes (much like a kid with his lego sets), I do NOT have a mechanical training nor the hours repairing a broad variety of machines born from numerous manufacturers around the globe. Deciding I'd settle the debate once and for all, I went around (over the past few months) and asked a handful of motorcycle mechanics whom I know with a diversity of experience and at least 3 decades each in the trade: "If you could have only one machine, that you could just jump-on and ride, with zero maintenance, wake up each day and just go...what would it be?". I felt certain it would be a Japanese make, or German, but I did not expect to hear the answer I got. And I have to say I'm so surprised by the common response that I just have to share it even though it embarrasses me to do so."Harley Davidson Dyna Glide. Inexpensive. No valve adjustments, hydraulic lifters, strong as an ox, gas-up and go, ride it a 100,000 miles and throw it away (personally I'd try and sell it, but I need to be loyal to the quote)." There is one proviso however, that you buy it new and keep it absolutely stock. Change virtually anything other than the seat and mirrors and that'll half it's life expectancy each time...which is why most HD owners experience a mini-series of problems almost right from the showroom floor. Most buyers "personalize" their rides before they even turn the key, and apparently THAT'S the mistake. So there you have it. I apologize, I was wrong, I'm humbled, and admittedly I'm looking at our homespun heirloom brand with renewed fervor. Hmmm.

The nuts & BOLT's about bobbers..

USA/Japan - motorcycle - 942cc.

Beneath a Youtube video extolling the new Yamaha Bolt, someone had posted these words: "harley's are sluggish vribrating mess, and that's why they sell so much. Because it's a men's ride, a beast that needs to be controlled and learnt, like a crazy horse that you can never trust. And thats why my harley will never be a boring ride like a Bolt." Now I like backhanded compliments but there's a tipping point where it becomes an endorsement for the competition: this is one such case. The poor author of that prose has probably been stuck with making payments on his HD for the last few years and every time he's curbside wrenching on his "vribrating mess", or shells out several hundred dollars for service at the dealership, he shares similar monosyllabic grunts of approval with other owners to reset his waning enthusiasm. I really can't figure out how the fan-base of a product can turn it's ample flaws into such a virtue, and I'm not sure I can think of another example in modern history, but it is the Harley phenomena. Anyway, I too succumbed to the fantasy (or did), I was one of them. For 11 years I waxed lyrical about my beloved porkster until one long hot afternoon spent baking alone in the roadside sun with the mandatory sack of tools I had learned to carry strewn around me, keloid burn-brands milestoning my hands from previous tinkerings, sweat pouring off my brow, salt-stinging my eyes and impeding my vision....then when I spotted a turkey buzzard circling overhead awaiting my demise, I suddenly flipped! I just couldn't deceive myself anymore. I know any negative words against the Almighty HD is akin to blasphemy and I would never dare to be so vocal around all those real men who ride them, but gaddangit there's alot to be said for something that just works. Despite the accusations, the Bolt is absolutely not pretending to be an HD, if it was who in hell would buy it?! Its primary appeal is that engineering is all Japanese. Its styling is that of a custom bobber (albeit the term originally referred to homemade cut-downs, but from ALL makes of motorcycle) which the stock & standard HD Sportster is not. (However, HD are now releasing more aesthetically pleasing designs so even they seem to understand what hipsters are pining for.) But anyone who's built an actual bobber will know to sometimes spell it b-o-o-b-e-r: endless aftermarket modifications drastically compromise operability of anything mechanical. So when Yamaha stand up and say  "we have a new bike for you that really resembles a cool chop-job, however, you won't have any of the issues normally associated with WI cruisers and yet it has all the power of a bored-out custom..." Add air-cooled v-twin pots, belt drive and standard Japanese reliability and I can't see a reason NOT to buy it. 

Wishing to go Solo?

Japan - motorcycle - 50cc. NLP but revisiting nevertheless.

The dictionary definition of a motorcycle is a two-wheeled vehicle that is powered by a motor and has no pedals. According to my criteria I also add that the frame must be straddled as opposed to stepped-thru, the fuel tank is optimally located between the riders knees and a range of gears are controlled manually via a clutch and foot-shifter. Anything else (with minor allowances for placement of said components) would fall under the definition of car, scooter, moped or bicycle. But because I don't only review motorcycles I want to take a quick look over the Honda Solo. Designed by a team of hipsters at Honda R&D in Japan, it used the Cub engine with auto centrifugal clutch which therefore renders it a scooter, but oh what a beautiful scoot it was! Past tense. Only a few thousand were made between 2003 and 2004: the retro boardtracker ergo's were simply too radical for the conservative Japanese market and it was pulled from production. I adore it however, and believe one day Honda will see fit to reintroduce it to the American market which is fast awakening to the idea of cool, low cost metropolitan transport. Tweet this as much as possible and perhaps Honda will take notice.

Around the world on a W800 Special Edition?

I don't really know what to write about this machine, other than that she is sublimely exquisite. Perhaps the closest we can get in the modern era to the Brough Superior, I dare say T.E.Lawrence would be up for a spin (perhaps even make it his 9th bike) should he be allowed a quick revisit back amongst us mediocre mortals. Steel steed heathens offer daily prayers to the motorcycle Gods, to implore Kawasaki Corporate to bring this here to us in the US of A! 

If anyone reading this is a man of means and intrepid adventurer, and has dreamed of a round-the-world tour on these great motorcycles, and is up for funding the entire expedition, then I'm your wingman!! I've already mapped-out a route and cleared my schedule. Send me a message!

Building the primo cafe racer!

Motorcycle chez you!

With the current renewed fervor for the cafe racer genre, people have taken to butchering old standard bikes and bolting on aftermarket bits like adult lego sets. Japanese bikes from yesteryear are being pulled from their barn-graves around the country (dusted off, mouse-nests yanked from the mufflers, chicken guano scraped from the saddle) and resuscitated with varying degrees of aesthetic success. Albeit the lazarus treatment will make them ride blacktop once again, folks forget that old Japanese bikes weren't a heck of lot different in quality to modern Chinese bikes: it took the Japanese a couple of decades to get their engineering and metallurgy down pat. Then you have the likes of Ryca and Clevelend Cycle Works who are building cafe's from scratch using new Chinese parts or American-made kits adapted to existing Japanese motorcycles. But what if you like to stand out from the crowd, what if you're a black sheep who stands aside from the flock, a moto-maverick who still fawns over the cafe racer visage but wants a really unique ride that runs true and strong...what can YOU do to go about getting your one-of-a-kind cafe motorcycle? If cost is immaterial, try this: buy a rolling chassis from www.rickman-motorcycles.com (check out their exquisite aluminum tanks & other parts), then go to www.drumhillcycle.com and pick up an engine (the SV650 V-Twin is a gem). Or for one of the best thumper engines ever built buy a new CRF in 150cc or 250cc, sacrifice it on the alter of the motorcycle gods, lift out the stupendous motor and transplant it right into the Rickman frame. Then bolt on a pair of clip-ons and you're ready to roll. For less than 12k you'll be sitting astride the envy of everyone who ever looked sideways at a cafe racer, and, being formed from mechanically sound parts will enable you to enjoy it for years without wasted curb&wrench time. Send us pics! 

Rebel revisited.

USA - motorcycle - 250cc

The Honda Rebel debuted it's petite proportions in 1985 as a bantamweight intro-cruiser for the MTV generation (fact). Training courses adopted it for it's usability, lightweight and seat height. Motorcycle manufacturers are like high school drug pushers, hooking kids on easy offerings in the hope they'll graduate to harder stuff of their brand name: by introducing wannabe bikers to the pastime, Honda hoped Rebel buyers would swap out their training wheels for a higher ticket item down the road. Good thing is that after almost 3 decades it's mechanically the same machine which proves it was sound & serviceable from blueprint. Another nice thing about these diminutive cruisers is there are thousands of them out there, in mint condition, un-abused, low-miles, barely ridden and cheap as dirt. Now ask the Google to show you pics of "Honda Rebel Bobber" and a whole new world of possibility opens up. Via a few cool aftermarket items (try Licks cycles) you can turn a harmless little getaround into a nasty street bob for growling around town and frequenting cafes/bars in style. In the world of mods and rockers (pick a team, nothing is worse than a fence-sitter) such scoots offered ideal foundation for standing out of the crowd & starting your own rebellion. Do that and you'll be true to the original spirit of bobber culture and have a set of wheels to envy.

Heralding the Honda GROM (August release)

USA - motorcycle - 125cc
A 21st century monkey bike for the urban guerrilla!

Ok, I've been wrong in the past and it seems that today I have been proven wrong again. Wrong for assuming Honda was NOT planning to bring the MSX125 to the US marketplace. Perhaps I am also partially mistaken for underestimating the evolution of America's motorcycling needs toward the "smart": after all we have the smart bomb, the smart phone, smart car etc so does it not make sense we would also desire a smart bike? The MSX - or the GROM as it will be know here - is indeed a very smart bike from every angle and not least because it's pocket sized yet capable of much. It's arrival in August also exemplifies the smarts of Honda corporate to make this educated decision rapidly. The success of the Kawasaki KSR110 in Asia was certainly an influencing factor in Honda's judgement call but doubtless so were their keen observations of US motorcycling trends over the past decade. Fuel prices and a deluge of media on all things moto have helped increase people's awareness and interest in motorcycling as a pastime and cost-effective method of commutation, and with that comes a need to satisfy all abilities and every demographic. After all God made horses for every size and type of rider, steel-steed manufacturers should take note. Big bikes have dominated the market here in the US and kept new buyers fearful of ownership. On one hand this has maintained bikers as dangerous characters oozing with adrenalized sex-appeal (on which we have capitalized, shamelessly, I'm as guilty as the next), on the other hand it's left their parents' cautionary tales ringing in their ears long into adulthood and kept them away from membership. Either way they're deterred and lacking a plus-side. I also blame the editorials whose reviewers are invariably prejudice toward more powerful bikes and often flog the smaller ones for being "underpowered" or "lacking" in various departments. Just as we do not condemn a person for their height, modest achievements or skin color so we should not demonstrate bias toward the beloved cycle (bikes should be reviewed for themselves and compared only when a comparison is the subject of the article). Disparaging the wee ones most certainly contributed to manufacturer reluctance to bring them here to the US (NOT the case for the rest of the world who enjoy the full range of sizes). Anyway, it's easy to forget as a seasoned jockey that motorcycles must be terrifying for those with the desire but without the knowhow to ride them. For us who've grown up on them we see a machine bursting with possibilities and excitement, newbies see an uncontrollable rocket that'll propel them speedily to a wheelchair or death (if they're lucky). Herein lies a stagecall for the GROM. It looks wicked cool and fast as a fart on a greased lightning rod...but in actual fact its a pint-sized street-fighter with equally petite capabilities: and that's all it should be, let not the critics fault it! It's a midget motard, a traffic-busting urban micro-assaulter for the uber-chic, a lane-splitting roided-out pygmy in a cape and mask, and at just a few horsepower it's little more than a scooter...but in a classic manual motorcycle configuration that'll give thousands of newcomers their motorcycle stripes sans fear and trepidation. It's also my dream city cycle and I'll be first in line at Honda's door come August. I commuted on the KSR for 7 years in Bangkok where traffic is fast & furious, and I almost cried when I left it behind to return stateside. It was in my top-3 bike list. My only dislike was the lack of manual clutch, which the GROM has. Also the GROM is styled badder, and is a 125, and etc which makes it an all round preferable bike for me and one that'll shunt the KSR to 4th place on my list. If we think of the unveiling of particular bikes in terms of historical events I predict right now that Honda has just started the Gold Rush.

   

I'm back!

As you prepare for spring and consider purchasing ONE ultimate cycle, these are my recommendations from the Japon quatro!

Top 3 Suzuki cycles: GSX-R600, Boulevard S40 and the awesome TU250.
Top 3 Honda Cycles: CB1100, Shadow Phantom and the brilliant Rebel 250cc. (Dear God, please tell Honda management to bring the MSX125 to the USA. Thanks.)
Top 3 Kawasaki cycles: W800, W800 and the D-Tracker 125 (neither available in the US).
Top 3 Yamaha cycles: V-Max wow wow wow, Bolt and V-Star 250.

Alternatively, buy them all.

More reviews coming soon.